Buster the Balless Cat

2007-11-28T01:16:00.000-05:00

Hello friends, it`s hard to believe that I haven`t posted in an entire year. Time flys when you`re having fun and this is proof. I`ve been traveling globe conducting mouse-catching semenars, it`s not nearly as lucative as blogging but I find it rewarding to my inner kitty cat, in the end is that not what matters most. Don`t know yet what I may do next, for now I`m just happy to be back here at Damnfarm. The bozo said I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted, and I know he wants me here, after nearly a year there was fresh litter in the shit-box and several varieties of friskies in my bowls. When he gets back from his "extesential reality group" meeting we`re gonna have Jim Beam and Friskys and "bounce a few ideas off the wall" as he calls it. It`s not completely clear to me yet but from what I could deduce from overhearing his phone calls, Richard Chainy had ran across the WVMan blog on the net and wants to have it translated into aribic and force suspected terrorists to read it, CIA sources seems to think it may be more effective than water-boarding. Like any cat, I`m curious, so I`ll give it a listen but to be honest I wouldn`t want to be involved in any forced readings of WVMan blog. Whatever comes next, only time can tell, but for the moment I feel really good about connecting with the fans again. I`ll get back to you soon.....

It`s Alright Now

2006-11-23T06:48:00.000-05:00

I`ve decided to stay here at Damnfarm with the Bozo, it`s not that I couldn`t be successful blogging solo. Fact is I have a soft place in my heart for the WVMan, without me, everyone knows he wouldn`t make it. I`m trying to be a "stand up kitty boy" , I`m making a firm commitment to the fans that I won`t break up the team. Everyone knows that his blogging days are growing short and I`ll be left here at Damnfarm to blog solo in the end. I`ve done a goodly amount of soul seeking in the last few weeks, I`ve come to see that he does the best he can. He sees to it that I have plenty of Friskeys, fake mice, and those balls with the bell inside. He`s even been leaving the computer on so I won`t have to break a paw pushing that button. Bloggings a snap without that impediment.

Moving Out

2006-11-03T17:02:00.000-05:00

It`s been a good run for me here at Damnfarm but lately it hasn`t been fun, the Bozo cutting back on the Jim Beam has taken all the fun out of living here. When I first arrived, it was a laugh a minute, what you rednecks would call a "Hoot". The Bozo would play a lot of Rolling Stones and Pink Floyd on the stereo, wolf down one Jimmy after another, act like an idiot, and hand out Bonkers like there was no tommorow. All I had to do was wait for him to crash, then I`d have my cat friends in. We`d have Friskies and Bonkers, scratch the furniture, shed fur , and pee on the carpet. We laughed and laughed. I thought I had landed in tomcat heaven. All the other cats would say "Buster you`ve got the world by the bag", and they were right but things have changed. Now the Bozo limps around the farm and complains about how his legs hurt, gotten tight as the bark on a tree with the Bonkers. Worst of all I have to listen to Frank Sinatra while he has coffee, no more cat bashes here either. I`ve been invited to go live in a "Cathouse" by one of the Bozos` friends from the escort service. I`m gonna` give it two more weeks here before I give my notice, so I`m committed to one more month here at Damnfarm, so don`t be surprised if my next post is a bit late.

2006-09-08T20:42:00.000-04:00

I`m back from Sin City, had a whale of a time. Sorry I didn`t post before the trip, I meant to but the time just sneaked up on me. Then I got so busy planning and packing, getting my papers in order so as not to get the Gestop...I mean homeland security excited. Some say I don`t look American, so it`s a hassle any time I travel. I know my eyes are a bit alien looking but let me assure you I`m 100% American. I`d like to thank all the fans,without whose support trips like this would be merely fantasies. I know I missed a few appearances, but for Petes`sake I too was having fun in Vegas. I`ve taken about enough heat over this, I hate to say it but some of the fans really should "get a life". Sittin`around reading my blog is fun I know, but many of yall click over to the WVMan blog and get caught up in his mindless ramblings. I`m just trying to point out the fact that it`s just time wasted. But before yall log off for good let me tell you about meeting my hero. About a week after I arrived in Vegas I went to this fund raiser for the Humane Society and had casually mentioned that I`d like to meet those tigers that Sigfried and Roy had in their shows. Two days later I was down in the casino playing Blackjack when a limo driver came in and whispered that some of the boys wanted to take me for a ride and insisted that it would be in my best interest to come with him . I went with him but not without some apprehension. I was in the back of this black limo with three cats I didn`t recognize. As we got underway I asked the driver where I was being taken , he said in what I took for an impatient tone " Don`t be such a curious cat, you`ll find out soon enough". I was becoming more concerned and looked around and saw my companions nodding to me. I was alarmed to see that each wore that smile that cats sometimes get on their faces. We rode on about 10 min , the limo made a hard left turn and past some security guards and up a long driveway to this grand mansion. The limo stopped in front and the driver hopped out lickety split and opened the door. I got out and to my amazment Sigfried and Roy was right there to greet me, well let me tell you I could have filled up a sand box right there had there been one handy. We exchanged greetings, I expressed my gratitude for the warm welcome and related what a big fan I was and to my surprize they said that they were big fans of my blog and launched into a barage of questions. How long had I been blogging? How`d I get my start? What`s the WVMan really like? Is it an act or is he really the idiot that he appears in the WVMan blog? I assured them that it wasn`t an act. Sigfried appeared somewhat amused but Roy just stared at me, I got the feeling that he didn`t trust me or he was imagining me jumping through rings of fire or riding on the back of an elephant. I was beginning to get a clearer picture of why Roy got bit. They were great hosts, I had a saucer of warm milk a helping of black caviar that cost more than the WVMans big screen TV that he likes so much. It was great savioring both the caviar and that thought. Then it was time to meet the tigers.I knew they were big but nothing could have prepared me for this. 400 pound kitty cats, I felt very glad not to be a dog at that moment. I hung out with them all afternoon, they were good cats. We exchanged stories and burned some catnip and had a few laughs. I got the one that took a bite out of Roy to tell me what that was like, he just grinned and said it was an accident, the others snickered. I said" I wish I was big enough to take a chunk like that out of the WVMan", they rolled on the floor laughing at that. It was the best day of my 9 lives, I got back to the Luxor at about 7PM and went up to the suite for a cat nap. I dreamed about being a 400 pound tiger and didn`t wake up till 2Am, I groomed for about 20 min and headed down stairs to the Bacherac tables, that`s when the lossing streak began in earnest......................

The Summer of Buster

2006-07-25T02:44:00.001-04:00

What a great summer, I`ve had a blast. Laying around in the air conditioning all day and out howling with my peeps about every night. We`d all meet up after sundown and cruise the neighborhood looking for action. Slinkiest bunch of tomcats in two counties. We especially enjoyed harrassing dogs on a chain, stupid creatures would nearly break their necks chasing us. They never did learn how long their chains were, we`d take turns being the chased while the rest watched. We laughed and laughed.

Most fun I ever had without a pussy cat around. We had big fun cavorting with them too. I`m the only one in the gang shootin` blanks, but I was the most popular cat with the kitties. The toms liked to say" He can`t cut the mustard, but that cat can sure lick the jar." Then we`d all laugh and spray some trees. I had one awesome birthday party this summer too, every cat in the county attended, the Bozo cooked chicken on the grill and cracked open a keg. We played games and watched the fireworks. Lot of cats brought bags of catnip, we`d roll around in it and grin. Some cats would get a whiff and run like their tales were on fire. Then just all of a sudden stop dead in their tracks and look around like they didn`t know were they were. It was all big fun, we laughed and laughed. There was plenty of cavorting with the pussy cats out in the yard too. There was a white one with big blue eyes named Snowball, she was practically snorting the catnip. She was a wild one, every tom at the party had a go at her before the bash was over. My guess is that by the end of August there`s going to be little kitty cats all over the place. As for me, I`m getting out of town before the humans find out and breakout the brooms. You can bet there`s gonna` be some tomcats running for cover. No one knows yet, even the Bozo, that this bloggin`cat will be in Vegas by then. My agent emailed me last week, she`s got a gig for me on the strip, top billing she says. She`s flying out on the 15th to pick me up, I`m looking forward to it too, get away from Bozo for a month or two. We`ll be staying at the Luxor and she says we`ll share a suite since the Bozo won`t be along this trip. I`ve been hoping for this for a long time, she`s real pretty, soft and smells good too. She gives great head rub and the belly scratching is mind blowing. I`ll try to post again before then, should know more about this gig too.

Poontang

2006-03-24T08:17:00.000-05:00

I`m back, Bozo changed the password on me after Christmas ,threats of permanent sleepytown or a "catloss diet". Don`t let his benign blog ramblings mislead you, this is one scary clown here. Been trying every password that I thought this mental giant might come up with, hit on "poontang" this morning, it`s somewhat of an embaressment to me that it took this long. Living here at Damnfarm these last 3 years, depending on this clown for my very sustinance, not to mention headrubs and belly scratchings, has damaged my tomcat personna permanently. It`s pretty much over for me, I`m totally addicted to headrubs and no one cares, in fact many think it`s "cute". Don`t let this happen to you,sure it`s great at first, headrub and a "good kitty" in a soft voice then next thing you know you`re rubbing the pant legs of any Bozo with a can opener. Those of us who have had the misfortune to fall into this trap are powerless to help, but we are all with you in spirit. Cat Power{clinched paws held high}. I`ll do what I can and all over America kittys will rise up from sofas from sea to shining sea. I have a dream that one day a cat will be chosen as a pet, not by the color of his coat but the lovableness of his caracter. Little girls picking out kitty cats world wide must be educated or have their little arms scratched.

2005-12-25T12:13:00.000-05:00

Keeping Warm

2005-12-25T12:12:00.000-05:00

Some Things Just Naturally Go Together

2005-12-25T12:07:00.000-05:00

On Guard

2005-12-25T12:06:00.000-05:00

Me and My Goodies

Kitty Vacation

2005-12-06T08:32:00.000-05:00

Dust off the pet carrier, freshen up the litter box and get the hell out of the way. This bloggin`cat is heading for the beach, Pena`Coladas and treats on demand. Plenty of fake mice and 9 Lives, not a care in the world for 3 full weeks. Hoping to bed down with one of them Hymnilayon Pussy cats, they really turn me on. I`ve never actually met one, nothing but alley cats here in the mountains. But I have seen the pictures in Pussy Cat Magizine. The fold-out in September was a Hymilayon babe named Monique. I got the Bozo to hang it in my Kitty Condo, proving once again that he`s good for something. If you happen to see me on the beach leave me the hell alone I`m on vacation.

What Large Trout?

2005-12-03T02:37:00.000-05:00

Can anyone out there save me from this feline hell that is Damfarm? Even the terrorists don`t have to endure torture like this. You won`t believe this, last nite I was taking a quick nap{catnap}after a roudy romp with several of my fake mice when I was most rudely awakened. The Bozo in his never ending"Johnny Walker Wisdom"decided it would be just peachy to stand out on the porch with his hands busy in his pockets to keep warm I guess. There we were 30 degrees ,25 mph winds watching it snow. If I had balls they would have been frozen off then and there. Somehow he suddenly lost interest in the blowing snow.{He is also mesmerized by shiny objects but that`s another story} and thank the Kitty Gods let me back in the house. I got curled up on the big chair to get warmed up, I heard the water running in the shower but didn`t bother to get up to check it out. It`s not really a pretty site on a good day and I still had the chills and why risk the nightmares so I stayed put. He soon walked past me in just his shorts. He walked with a purpose that only Jim can enspire. He muttered something about anonimous mitch,kitch something like that, couldn`t make it out for sure. He made me listen to 6 or 10 Warren Zevon songs, cranked up of course before he crashed out on the sofa.

Buster was a Kitten, Once

2005-08-25T08:17:00.000-04:00

Buster Wants to Help

2005-08-01T04:16:00.000-04:00

Buster answers questions, gives advice on most any topic....Never fear,Buster`s here.......Buster with two of his brothers at Myrtle Beach, from left to right, Elroy,Buster,& Bruno.

2005-06-21T22:04:00.000-04:00

Buster...all seeing,all knowing

Frank the Terapin

2005-06-19T14:48:00.000-04:00

I slept in Saturday morning, got up and went to the food dish for a snack. Then got in my spot by the picture window, got real comfortable. I was ready for a big day of bird watching, if you have`nt tried it you should, I find it very stimulating. Gets the ole blood pumping if you know what I mean. The day was going well, I took 2 naps and checked out the food dish several times. I ignored Bozo most of the day, he called for me to come here a couple of times but I just pretended not to hear. I derive a great deal of enjoyment out of irritating him, it`s not like bird watching but fun all the same. Well I was just about to stretch out for another nap when a visitor came calling. My first thought was "hot diggity dog" someone new to play with, then I looked in the box where bozo had left him. He was one strange lookin`dude, wore his house on his back and spent a lot of time in it too. I got up real close to him and found out his name was Frank and he was a terapin. It turned out to be a bust though, I got out several of my fake mice and one of them balls with the bell inside just in case he was into that sort of thing. Nothing! He did`nt even come out of that little house of his to check it out, if there`s one thing I`ve learned about terapins is that they`re not a very curious bunch. We all spent Saturday evening together, watched Animal Planet again. God I absolutely dispise that Steve Irwin guy, just makes my fangs hurt to hear him talk. I had 7 treats, the kind that Bozo gets in those little cans. Bozo had Coors Lights, I don`t know how many I lost count and Frank did`nt want anything , mumbled something about a low metabolizem. I just let it drop, figured it was a personal issue with him. And to be frank,no pun intended, I just did`nt give a hoot. Frank turned out to be the most uninteresting fellow I`ve ever met. I got in my night time spot, curled up nice and tight and crashed out early. I was up a the crack of dawn, checked on the food dish and had a drink first thing, then looked in on Frank, he was in that little house of his. It makes me wonder what the hell he does in there, it must be pretty damn good as much time as he spends in there. But I`m just curious that way. Bozo got up a little later, scratching his ass as he got in the fridge to get some orange juice. Then he got out my goodies and put some in my food dish, I`m thinkin`"way to go Bozo but for Christs sake put some pants on." I was`nt hungry at all but had a bite or two anyway just to check what was on the menu for the day. Latter that morning I was watching a big fat robin in the front yard, when I realized Frank was getting ready to go. I hated to give up on that robin but went to say so long anyway. Bozo put him out in the back yard, then came back in and went to check the e-mail. I watched Frank as he got under way, all I can say about the situation is I hope he don`t have far to go. I watched him leaving for a long time, watching him move like that knocked me out and I napped I don`t know how long. But when I woke up he was gone. I`ve gotta` wrap this up, and get back on the job, there`s a fly in the house, that takes top priority, my job to trackem` down and show them the error of they`re ways if you get my drift. We`ll talk again soon.Bye now. Back to WVMan

2005-06-15T21:56:00.000-04:00

It`s Me Alright......... Sometimes All It Takes is a Little Pussy

Hello to those cool cats in Bloggerville

2005-05-03T02:45:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone I`m Buster, and yes sadly to say, balless. I`ve been watching that bozo who is holding me captive here, think I`ve got this blogging thing down. Anyway bozo has left me here alone again and while I normally nap at this time of day, I decided today to get my own blog. So here I am, a full-fledged cyber kitty. Any other captive kittys out there please respond. Will post a picture when I figure out how to do that, think real hard before you say "newbee cat" no balls but plenty o teeth. I hear Bozo coming down the drive-way, gotta go now. Will post next time Bozo leaves me alone. Think I`ll cough up a hairball right in Bozos` path. Yeaaaaa for the kittycats.